I started writing this post yesterday. It had an academic sound to it. It was a cold analysis of some experiences in my life.
I am grateful for not finishing it yesterday. Life happened. Beautiful, magical, human life. Authentic, fresh, full of energy and emotion. My beliefs were once again validated, but not in a cold, surgical fashion. Quite the opposite. Life confirmed a million times over I am a pure romantic at heart and I will never give up my face to face connection. Sure, I love gadgets, but neither my heart, nor my body are overruled by technology. What I give, I give freely out of pure human desire and will.
There is no technology which can be better than a smile, a hug, a gentle touch or a passionate kiss. There is no app which can replace the wonder of just having a walk down on memory lane only to discover that future happened and the growth is undeniably charming. Oh, those tingles your look gives me! The sparks, the laughs, the madness of chemistry and openness to find out more. To see what lays in the future. There is nothing more precious than being entangled in each other’s arms and laughing with stars in the eyes. We talk so much more with our bodies that words are sometimes really unnecessary. There is the delicious mystery of saying nothing with your mouths and vibrating in a cozy feeling. Wanting more and more. Forgetting other pasts when you felt lonelier with your partner than actually being alone. Healing old pains with a smart answer to a sad story. Moving on with grace and gratitude and remembering you never lost your power to give and to receive beauty. All it takes is a properly harmonized partner.
When such bliss is SO real, how could you ever waste time with an app? What is it about those so-called-dating apps that makes them so popular? No offence to those who even got married after matching on an app, but people, I hope you know you are fucking Unicorns!
Is human kind so lame as not being able even to pick up a girl/guy in real life? Not to even think of getting into a relationship. How about a couple of great dates! How about a cool conversation to fire things up? How about taking the time to have a coffee or a drink in a nice (and safe) public space just to see whether there is any connection or not? I am definitely not a prude. I’ve had my fair share of I want it all and I want it now. I love good sex! But I also love good dates. And I’ve had some of the memorable ones, too.
I honestly have no idea why would someone use an app to meet people. I tried a few of them. If not, who could I write about them? Actually, I’m not even writing about them, but about how they affect – in a very negative way – social interaction.
Yes, I was born in the pre-cell phone time, so I did have the proper environment to learn social skills. Yes, I used a cell phone since it was first available. No, it did not erode my social skills. The best relationships or even one-night stands in my life happened because of those social skills, while technology only served as a discreet means of communication (if needed). There is nothing like the thrill of spotting that one person who sends a tingle down your spine. That flirty glance or that two extra seconds of full power eye contact to send the message. Oh, the beauty of the game! The double meaning jokes, the speed with which your dialogue partner gets your (more or less) subtle message. The speed is to die for! And I don’t mean the app speed of “Hi! Where do you live?! How about sharing your bed?” I am literally talking about the speed of the neurons in the guy’s brain (I will refer to guys as that’s my playground).
There is nothing more annoying to me than fast forward redneck approach on the apps. Should I write a book on ridiculous pickup lines, they’d come from apps’ users. And yes, my best matches were always people I’ve already experienced in my real life. Call it a social experiment, but I’ve tried it with a couple of folks to see if the app matches us or not. It did. I’ve also tried to see a few people I’ve met online. Not worth the effort. Let’s say one or two were really good looking and spectacular athletes. A couple of hours well exercised. Game over.
I get bored easily. If one doesn’t hold my interest up, it’s thank you, but no thank you. I love a good game or call it a hunt if you prefer, as well as I love a great date. And the two things don’t reject themselves. They actually pair up really well. Spending a little time together and connecting does wonders even for the mere sex-based flings.
Why are people so lazy as to use an app to (basically) fuck? When did our kind become so sad as to forget about the goose bumps a tender kiss on your hair generates? If attraction is there, if dialogue is there, if playfulness is there, passion brakes all the fake social rules and gets people naked in a matter of seconds. And I’m not referring only to clothes flying all around the house, but also to personalities connecting and feelings being experimented.
Why would anyone surrender to an app which dehumanizes the beauty of it all? Why would a man give up the rhythm of a woman’s gestures: playing with her hair, curling her tongue over her upper lip, leaning closer to the man’s body as though gravity is pulling her closer to him with any number of Gs. Her fidgeting with expectation and desire burning deeper and deeper? At the same time, why would a woman give up the tension build up? Feeling herself held in the man’s arms in a full way, a round search of her femininity and desire? Why would anyone surrender life to apps?
Take it from a woman with a past and a love for the famous TV series line Carrie Bradshaw knows good sex. There is nothing more beautiful than the real live game of being man and woman. Of searching and – why not! – finding what is good for you. Finding the harmony, the dialogue and even the childish play that keeps the spark alive in every single one of us. An app will never be able to provoke you to want more, to look forward for any potentiality a real interaction puts on the table. Just be! Be true to yourselves and open. Sometimes the best surprises come when and from where you never imagined. But again, that’s the beauty of real life.
