I bet you’ve wondered at least once in your lifetime what superpower you’d have if you were a superhero. Abilities, skills, magic, technology, firepower, speed, mutations, all that you see in comic books and fantasy movies. But what if I told you there is at least one superpower available without any mutation or alien intervention?
One superpower that gives you freedom, peace of mind and a lot of stamina. But of course, there is a catch: used at full potential it could turn you into a bit o an antihero. Are you game? Do you have any idea what I’m talking about?
There is one superpower available to any mortal and that is the power of NO. Inherent in any human being (please remember the little children’s force when you want to impose something on them and they yell with all their might NO!), at some point lost in all the social manipulation to keep people preoccupied and submissive, sometimes recovered after intensive and difficult training.
Yeah, you’ve guessed! It can turn you into Deadpool, but who doesn’t like that SOB?
Please remind yourself about the million times when you did things against your will. I’m not discussing the little things which gave you discipline in life, but the major aspects such as having no identity as an adult in front of your parents, holding a job you hate because you fear you can’t land a better one or staying in a dysfunctional relationship for whatever reason.
Do you feel trapped? Do you feel angry? Does frustration build up? What are you doing to better your life? Well, sometimes you have to say NO. Seize your superpower and distance yourself from all that is toxic or draining in your life. You owe nothing to the world as the world doesn’t owe you anything. Each of us has a duty to oneself to be genuinely happy. And sometimes that means playing the antihero for other people.
Don’t worry: no one dies just because you said NO. It might look like that in the beginning. You were trained to be a good girl/boy. Be selfless, give yourself up to the benefit of others/greater good, forget ego, try to please everybody, work hard (to the point of dropping dead), don’t upset people, try to be good, strive to be a saint. Like if you could ever forget that there is no good without the bad, that you can’t and shouldn’t try to please everybody, that ego is an expression of the survival instinct.
Of course, those who awaken and seize the power of NO step out of the flock. Independence, the ability to think and care for yourself, search to attain pure happiness, express your own beautiful self, comes with a lot of pain. It’s not easy to put yourself on the first spot. Refuse to do things that you really don’t like doing for others. It doesn’t mean you will never feel fear again, but at least you grow, you mature and you become the splendid butterfly which once was the caterpillar.
There is a lot of pain seeing people’s reaction when you tell them NO. The anger in their eyes, the disbelieve in their voice. You were trained to be a good dog (sorry! a good boy/girl). You were trained to be a shortcut for other’s comfort. You were trained under the rules of “you have to” and “what will x or y say if you…”.
Trust me, they will never die from a little No which latterly turns you in a superhero. Just imagine: would Deadpool ever lend money to a friend who’ll never return the loan? NO! Would Deadpool date the girl his mom picked for him just because it would make her (mom) happy? Hell, NO! Would Deadpool work like a slave in a place he hates down to his immortal cells? NO way! Would Deadpool put his life on hold to please others? Not in a million years! We are talking about an antihero who outgrew sickness, pain, torture and still kept his (dark) humor. We are talking about a bad-ass who almost dated Death. So, joke and metaphor aside, we are talking about someone who was in a very dark pit and yet kept a straight spine and a good laugh.
But don’t you just love the (apparently) relaxed way in which this guy with a twisted sense of humor pushes trough? He might be a violent antihero, aware of his world and multiple universes (his superpower of knowing spectator/readers are watching/reading him), but he is true to himself.
So, if you find it hard to say NO, just role play Deadpool. Fake it ‘till you make it! Do you feel discomfort refusing to go out on a night when all you’d like to do is cuddle with your cats and watch good movie? Imagine Deadpool’s crazy reaction and laugh. Does it hurt like a b**ch getting out of a relationship that suffocates you? Deadpool time!
In short, please become aware of who you are and what really makes you happy. And getting there always involves the lesson of NO. Harness its power and master it. Saying NO doesn’t mean inflicting pain or damage. NO gives you a superpower as long as it’s responsibly used. Use it with dignity and maturity. Remember, it’s all about intention and how you do it. You can always be the likable antihero as long as you don’t use the power of NO in an evil and destructive way.
It took me a long time to get the power of NO. But I believe more important than knowing what you want in life or in a situation is knowing very well what you DON’T want. Knowing all the NOs makes life more fun. It takes confusion away and you can enjoy the beauty of the ride.
